Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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