my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
