why didn't you poke me back
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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