I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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