So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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