I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
