I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
