please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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