I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
