You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize