Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I didn't shave. On purpose
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am mentally ready for anal.
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