if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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