I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
