what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why is your signature on my underwear?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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