i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
