I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
