I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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