Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
