last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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