At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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