I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
