we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
