He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
