Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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