I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
