: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
