Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
