Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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