I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize