So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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