I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
