this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
