But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
