If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
