SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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