Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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