I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
