we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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