Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
