I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
