I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
