i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we're so committed to being not committed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
