Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
