I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
