The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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