First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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