I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize