I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
