I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I bet he comes in French.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
