I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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