how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
