i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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