Umm I'm too high to move.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
