I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
