well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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