cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
