how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
