That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
