i don't plan on having that self control this summer
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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