I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize