I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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