He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When are your genitals available?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
