it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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