Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize