Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
