this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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