We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
