wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
