This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
