she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
